Day 8 : One week down!

Wow, that was a long week. I didn't expect it to drag like it did. It wasn't my lifestyle change that made it so difficult, it was everything else. But yesterday I ate meat for the first time since. Ewwww. Even now the thought grosses me out. I wanted to test myself and see how I felt- I even got one of what used to be my favorite things - a grilled Chik-Fil-A sandwich. I ended up eating all of my french fries and some of Jasons, but I only took maybe 4 bites of my sandwich. It looked gross and the taste grossed me out! I couldn't believe myself. So, I know I will probably never eat meat again... And I'm not exactly crying over it. I'm considering downscaling to Vegetarian from Vegan, however. I don't eat a lot of dairy, if any at all, but there are a few things I like that require eggs. I've never even really eaten eggs a lot, but there are a few things that have eggs in them. Mostly junk food like cookies and cakes so I won't be eating it much anyway. I am NOT a fan of dairy, though. There are a few things that have milk in them that are ok (like icecream hee hee), but like I said - mostly junkfood. I even had cheese the other night for the first time in 8 days and let me tell you- I just felt disgusting. It made my stomach hurt, I was vurping the rest of the night, and when I went to run I had cotton mouth because I felt so dehydrated. I had a 4 cheese Crispani from Panera and the goat cheese was just so salty! Days, weeks, months past I loved that thing. But since I've purified my palette all I noticed when I was eating it was how gross the texture of the cheese was and how quick it went cold. My French Onion soup, however, was marvelous. It was hearty and DELICIOUS. It was in my bread bowl and just fabulous :) Even better was the soup that Jason got - he got their baked potato soup, which come to find out is accidentally vegetarian. It's broth-based, which rules the "accidentally vegan" category out.

The best part is, I'm losing weight and now it's visibly noticable. I'm getting my girlish figure back and I feel so much better! I was never actually fat, but I had gotten kind of lumpy. I'm extremely short-waisted and thin-boned, so what would normally make a girl look robust and healthy made me look dumpy and all around kind of funny. I was not meant to look "robust". I've also noticed that the "healthy food" I WAS eating is the "junk food" I'm eating now. That's a good feeling to have given up those things that were making me so unhealthy and I didn't even realize it. Even Jason notices my new figure, and my new confidence that kind of goes right along with it. :) It's a nice feeling.

I tried Melissa's Natural Soy Cheese (which is NOT VEGAN- It has casein in it) on Sunday and it was deeees-guuuuuust-iingggg! SO GROSS! It reminded me of Kraft's fat free cheddar- it was a little sweet, kind of stale, and it turned my stomach. I ate it on a sandwich that would have normally been good: apple slices, romaine lettuce, and hummus on whole wheat. Be warned.


Breakfast today: 1 apple
Snack: 3 peices of Turkish Delight
Lunch: TEMPURA VEGGIE SUSHI FROM GINZA!!!!!! HURRAY!
Din Din: Spinach, Romaine Lettuce, Dill, and Edamame stuffed in a whole-wheat tortilla.

Day 6 : Made it through the wilderness.. I mean weekend.

Dude, this weekend was rough. As far as my new dietary change is concerned, I did pretty good (I ate 100& vegetarian, but only about 85% vegan). It was just with a lot of struggle. On Thursday night, Jason and I went to best buy after work. He made two offhand comments about the fact that I don't eat meat anymore to two different people which kind of hurt my feelings. Then, when we decided we were hungry, he decided he wanted Buffalo Wild Wings for dinner. They have ONE vegetarian thing there. One. And it's not even vegan. Nor is it vegetarian on purpose. It's this shoddy P.O.S little whithered up garden salad, that only had cucumbers, iceberg lettuce, onions, cheese, and crutons... The thing is, I asked what came on it and the stupid little girl working the register didn't even know. So I spent half the night scraping the cheese off my lettuce. Grrrr. I hate the airheaded little bimbos that live around here!

Then on saturday, we were going to spend the day at the lake with Jason's friends. When I got up to his apartment on saturday morning, he wasn't ready at all and immediately started telling me "do this. do that." so when it was time to go, I wasn't ready. We got into a little spat over it and he was like "well I don't want you to go anway". Well fine. So I didn't go. I didn't regret the fact that I didn't go, but I hated the fact that he left on that note. We ended up making nice eventually, but he didn't have any service on his cell phone at the lake so I didn't get to talk to him from like 9:30 that morning to like 9:00 that night. I'll be honest, I was so worried about him. I worried about his well being, and I worried about the state of our relationship. What if he was avoiding my calls? Come to find out he was 100 miles from the nearest T-mobile tower, so he didn't even have roaming. He also was just as worried about me and worrying that I was okay. I'm lucky to have such a wonderful man. In the meantime, while he was at the lake I had to iron 30 black polyester tablecloths for the Volunteer Dinner we were having at the office on Sunday. So I mean it was good that I stayed back because I was able to get most of that done. I ended up having to finish them up sunday morning though. But the biggest struggle for me was the comfort eating factor. I wanted something warm and meaty and hearty and delicious for all of my meals on saturday because I needed something to make that ache in my heart go away. I ached for Jason more than I have in 2 years- I cried, I pined, I longed just to hear his voice. I called his phone just to hear his voicemail message. I missed him more that one day than the entire week he spent in Pittsburgh earlier in the year. I had forgotten that I could miss him that much! I know I need him, I know I want him, I know I love him, but I forgot that I could feel the way that I did on Saturday. I met him back on this side of town Saturday night when he finally got back, and it was the most wonderful experience just to have him put his arms around me and make me feel okay again. ANYWAY. I hope I didn't make you puke. So I wanted to comfort eat on Saturday. I did better than I expected, actually. My vegan guidelines cut pretty much all of the comfort food I want out of my diet. I was depressed about my physical and emotional hunger for all of 5 minutes, then I got over it and ate something good for me. Could I be overcoming the need to eat my emotions?! I did, however, meander down to Whole Foods to explore. I hadn't been there before, so it was definately an adventure! It was wonderful! They have so much neat stuff, and really cater to vegetarians and vegans. The only produce, meat, and cheese they sell is organic and carry a lot of meat/dairy-free brands that you can't find at Food World or Publix. They even carry vegan baked goods in the bakery!!! I got a vegan cranberry muffin and a vegan peanut butter cookie. The cranberry muffin was kind of ick, but the peanut butter cookie was wonderful. They also carry TONS of Amy's Kitchen stuff in the freezer aisle, which is my favorite brand of vegetarian/vegan food. I got a veggie pot pie by her as well. Honestly, I wasn't impressed for once. I did, however, get one of her dairy-free whole meal Enchilada's and had it for lunch yesterday and it was gooooooooood.

What I'm eating today:
Breakfast: 1 whole banana, 3/4 cup dry grapenut flakes, Gatorade A.M.
Lunch: Muir Glen Organic Garden Vegetable Soup
Dinner: Prooobably a salad.

What I'm reading:
Secret for a Nightengale - Victoria Holt
Last Days of Dogtown - Anita Diamant (it was a library book and my dog chewed it up so it will be a round for a while...)
Skinny Bitch - Kim Barnouin

Day 2 : What a drag...

Well, I guess you really can't make decisions on a whim. I always thought that when my mother said that, it meant that decisions on a whim are a really bad idea. I didn't expect it to mean that they're near impossible. I decided on Tuesday that I'm going vegan. It didn't occur to me that half the stuff I own has some form of meat or dairy in it and that I don't get paid until the 31st. So I am grouchy as hell, drinking gatorade for breakfast because all I had was yogurt and cereal with milk in the fridge. This is the first kind of refined sugar or HFCS I've had in like 2 days and I have one monster of a headache. Add my period and an arguement with my fiance this morning, and I'm going to need serious psychological help by the time the day is over. Of course, I can't be surprised, I could have halfway expected that I would have gotten in a fight with my fiance this week considering my physical disposition. I'm impressed that this is the first one and I've been on the rag since Monday. Oh well. As the old addage goes, you win some, you lose some. But I also sort of feel like guys smell weakness and go for the jugular when we're not at 100%. I don't think it's being sneaky or mean, I don't even think it's a consious effort. I think it has to do with all of that "survival of the fittest" garbage. I think it has to do with testosterone. Jason knows I haven't been feeling well, if he were a woman he would have left me alone to sleep for another 45 minutes without the phone ringing in my ear in hoping when I wake up I will have a little more energy and just feel better. But, being a man, his primal urges took over and he calls me promptly at 6:45 and went into attack mode. Which, in my opinion, was the worst idea on earth.

I had Amy's Kitchen Organic Split Pea Soup for lunch. Truth be told, I wasn't exactly impressed. Normally I *love* Amy's Kitchen stuff but this time it just didn't do much for me. Granted, when I think of Split Pea soup I think of something rich and creamy with chunks of ham. I don't mind vegetable broth, having officially tried it today, but it was over seasoned and yet strangely enough it was still bland enough to call for salt. It really needed a kick. The whole time I'm sitting there eating my vegan soup, everyone else is eating barbeque from my favorite restaurant, Full Moon. I wanted to cry!!! I wish I would have at least had something delicious and impressive to make me feel better. I ended up eating at my desk :(. Next time I'll bring hummus and pita and ratatouille and all kinds of wonderful vegan things and make sure it's when everybody else has pb&j! HA HA! ...Probably not though, seriously. I have $70 to spend on groceries tonight to last me a week. How on God's green earth I'm going to spend $70 on vegan, HFCS-free food is beyond me. But I guess since I'm not buying packs of packaged decomposing flesh and cartons of milk I can use that money in other places. I guess that's one benefit of being raised in a one-income home: I never got attached to the expensive stuff. I HATE cheese, can't have milk, don't particularly like eggs, rarely ate meat prior to the change to my new lifestyle... If it's cheaply packaged and even more cheaply made, I LOVE it. That's my problem. I loooooove Chef Boyardee, Smucker's PB&J spread, among anything else that comes pre-packaged in it's own cooking container, which all contain MSG's, HFCS, refined sugar, artificial coloring and sweeteners, pesticides, antibiotics, hormones, steroids... Fruit Roll Ups, Velvetta shells and cheese, and Lunchables are like filet mignon to me. That is what has been the hardest for me to give up. Of course my precious fiance (who isn't the dingbat he sounds like, today I'm just hating on anything that doesn't have ovaries) LOVES meat, LOVES cheese, LOVES milk, and LOVES LOVES LOVES anything and everything listed above. It really concerns me too, because with my new knowledge I don't want him to be so suspectible to cancer! I read that going vegan makes you less suspectible to 90% of all known cancers. I wonder if cancer is the chemicals like MSG's, Aspartame, HFCS, and the pesticides, antibiotics, and steroids the USDA and other companies are pumping into us trying to find its own place in our bodies? I mean our bodies are built to cleanse itself of the impurities that would be natural for us to be exposed to - minerals, some chemicals, extra sugars and fats, etc... What if our bodies aren't prepared for all these foreign, complex chemicals that we're now eating, drinking, and breathing? It makes sense to me. Over the course of the past year, I have really been thinking about the level progression has taken in the 21 years I've been alive. Nearly everything I make contact with on a day to day basis is some form of synthetic material, some form of chemical that isn't organic, some creation of a scientist somewhere to make production cheaper and our lives "easier". But how much better is it really getting? What if the very thing that is supposed to help our fast paced lives is killing us? It's really scary. REALLY scary. The problem is though, I feel like the tree-huggers and PETA activists are giving Vegans a bad name because they're so overly outspoken that nobody really listens to the studies that vindicate what they've been saying for so long, and if it ever was proven by someone outside PETA or a connected source people would still roll their eyes and walk away. Forget the ADA has begun to back a plant-based diet. Nobody wants to be labeled a hippie twig muncher. I choose this lifestyle because I want to protect the temple that God gave me, for me to be a good steward of and take care of. If I'm exposing myself to the thing that is killing hundreds of millions of people a year, that's not being a good steward. Until the USDA cleans up their act, there is no way in hell I'm going to eat anything they produce. This isn't a "awww look at the baby chicken" issue, it's "what the h-e-double hockey sticks do you think you're doing to your country" issue.

Rant over.


Current Library Check Out List:
Secret for a Nightingale - Victoria Holt
Final Days of Dogtown - Anita Diamant

Next Check Out:
Vegan Freak - Rob Torres
Red Tent - Anita Diamant

Day 1 : It ain't easy being green...

Where do I start... I guess I'll start at the beginning (duh). A week ago I started a diet sponsored by the company who came out with the Alli pills to help you along with the dieting process. It went surprisingly well, actually. One thing I noticed was the majority of the things that fit into the scheme of my diet was that if something is labeled Vegetarian or Vegan (The diet consisted of 1200 calories and 20 grams of fat a day). So I sort of shrugged it away, enjoyed my accidently vegan food, and immediately noticed my clothes were beginning to hang a lot more loose, and I could comfortably fit things that I normally have to squeeze into. In my never-ending quest here at work for books on eating healthily and changing your lifestyle, I came across a book called Skinny Bitch by Kim Barnouin and Rory Freedman. It looked like your typical novelty diet book, complete with a skinny brunette with perfectly groomed eyebrows in a LBD on the cover... Yeah, until you open it up. Within the first 15 pages you've already recieved your first swift kick in the butt, and they don't stop there. Come to find out, one of the little Bratz dolls that co-wrote the book has a freakin' Masters of Nutrition and Dietary Science! Okay so maybe she's not a Bratz doll... More like a Nutritional Scientist Barbie. At any rate, it knocked me off my feet. I found a lot of valuable information in there, tastefully snuggled in between bits and peices of not-so-tasteful (but funny never-the-less) girl humor. For instance, I learned that we eat the pesticides (pesticides?!?! ew), antibiotics, and steroids that they give animals over the course of their short lives before they kill them. There are at least 700 different chemicals in any given peice of meat eaten. I also learned that they sell meat that was previously rotting to baby food companies. The thing is, while I hate how the animals are being treated and how they're being slaughtered, I cannot even begin to believe the horrors of the things I've been putting in my body. I learned that American chicken is by far the very worst thing you could ever eat, and studies have proven that eating American chicken gives you a 55% higher chance of colon cancer later in life. It's like eating garbage. You know there's a problem when there's an export embargo for our meats and dairy to the rest of the world. Even China won't eat our meat! So yeah, basically I'm officially vegan.

My sister and I went to lunch today. Besides her making fun of me for going vegan and telling me it wouldn't last (which didn't bother me because I knew she would), we had fun. Things have been getting better as we've gotten older and I actually enjoy her company now. We discussed the wedding a little bit, and our relationships so it was cool. We grabbed sushi - let me TELL YOU how good it was. I've become a connoiseur of veggie rolls and these were phoenomenal. They were Veggie Tempura rolls, so they had a slight, kind of sweet crunch. Add a little soy, wasabi, & ginger and BAM! I'm still day dreaming about it.

What I Ate Today:
Breakfast: One whole apple, one small bag of Newman's Own organic carrots

Lunch: Veggie Tempura Sushi from Ginza - YUM

Dinner: I'll have to let you know tomorrow. But as far as I know, salad.

Just finished:

Snow Flower and the Secret Fan - Lisa See

** It was wonderful! I really enjoyed it. I would reccomend it to anyone.

Current Reads:

Skinny Bitch - Kim Barnouin and Rory Freedman

To Kill a Mockingbird - Harper Lee (I forgot how good it was!)