Dude, this weekend was rough. As far as my new dietary change is concerned, I did pretty good (I ate 100& vegetarian, but only about 85% vegan). It was just with a lot of struggle. On Thursday night, Jason and I went to best buy after work. He made two offhand comments about the fact that I don't eat meat anymore to two different people which kind of hurt my feelings. Then, when we decided we were hungry, he decided he wanted Buffalo Wild Wings for dinner. They have ONE vegetarian thing there. One. And it's not even vegan. Nor is it vegetarian on purpose. It's this shoddy P.O.S little whithered up garden salad, that only had cucumbers, iceberg lettuce, onions, cheese, and crutons... The thing is, I asked what came on it and the stupid little girl working the register didn't even know. So I spent half the night scraping the cheese off my lettuce. Grrrr. I hate the airheaded little bimbos that live around here!
Then on saturday, we were going to spend the day at the lake with Jason's friends. When I got up to his apartment on saturday morning, he wasn't ready at all and immediately started telling me "do this. do that." so when it was time to go, I wasn't ready. We got into a little spat over it and he was like "well I don't want you to go anway". Well fine. So I didn't go. I didn't regret the fact that I didn't go, but I hated the fact that he left on that note. We ended up making nice eventually, but he didn't have any service on his cell phone at the lake so I didn't get to talk to him from like 9:30 that morning to like 9:00 that night. I'll be honest, I was so worried about him. I worried about his well being, and I worried about the state of our relationship. What if he was avoiding my calls? Come to find out he was 100 miles from the nearest T-mobile tower, so he didn't even have roaming. He also was just as worried about me and worrying that I was okay. I'm lucky to have such a wonderful man. In the meantime, while he was at the lake I had to iron 30 black polyester tablecloths for the Volunteer Dinner we were having at the office on Sunday. So I mean it was good that I stayed back because I was able to get most of that done. I ended up having to finish them up sunday morning though. But the biggest struggle for me was the comfort eating factor. I wanted something warm and meaty and hearty and delicious for all of my meals on saturday because I needed something to make that ache in my heart go away. I ached for Jason more than I have in 2 years- I cried, I pined, I longed just to hear his voice. I called his phone just to hear his voicemail message. I missed him more that one day than the entire week he spent in Pittsburgh earlier in the year. I had forgotten that I could miss him that much! I know I need him, I know I want him, I know I love him, but I forgot that I could feel the way that I did on Saturday. I met him back on this side of town Saturday night when he finally got back, and it was the most wonderful experience just to have him put his arms around me and make me feel okay again. ANYWAY. I hope I didn't make you puke. So I wanted to comfort eat on Saturday. I did better than I expected, actually. My vegan guidelines cut pretty much all of the comfort food I want out of my diet. I was depressed about my physical and emotional hunger for all of 5 minutes, then I got over it and ate something good for me. Could I be overcoming the need to eat my emotions?! I did, however, meander down to Whole Foods to explore. I hadn't been there before, so it was definately an adventure! It was wonderful! They have so much neat stuff, and really cater to vegetarians and vegans. The only produce, meat, and cheese they sell is organic and carry a lot of meat/dairy-free brands that you can't find at Food World or Publix. They even carry vegan baked goods in the bakery!!! I got a vegan cranberry muffin and a vegan peanut butter cookie. The cranberry muffin was kind of ick, but the peanut butter cookie was wonderful. They also carry TONS of Amy's Kitchen stuff in the freezer aisle, which is my favorite brand of vegetarian/vegan food. I got a veggie pot pie by her as well. Honestly, I wasn't impressed for once. I did, however, get one of her dairy-free whole meal Enchilada's and had it for lunch yesterday and it was gooooooooood.
What I'm eating today:
Breakfast: 1 whole banana, 3/4 cup dry grapenut flakes, Gatorade A.M.
Lunch: Muir Glen Organic Garden Vegetable Soup
Dinner: Prooobably a salad.
What I'm reading:
Secret for a Nightengale - Victoria Holt
Last Days of Dogtown - Anita Diamant (it was a library book and my dog chewed it up so it will be a round for a while...)
Skinny Bitch - Kim Barnouin
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